How To Raise Your Daughter Without Gender Bias

By- Sejal Batra

It's hard to imagine that in today's open world, when individuals are more free to be themselves, we are being inundated with gender stereotypes that were still popular half a century ago. Blue is for males, whereas pink is for girls.

"Daughters are angels," as the saying goes. But do parents really understand the meaning of this saying? From the time a child is born, we try to bind them with defined rules and boundaries. We tend to define their choices based on gender. The most common examples are that pink is for girls, dolls are a girl’s best friend, girls are supposed to be gentle and soft-spoken, girls in sports is a big NO and the list goes on and on. While there is nothing wrong with any of these choices until they remain choices and not a forced decision by parents or the so-called "society", which at times behaves as a governing force behind our numerous undefined, unsaid rules.

Our social conditioning and upbringing make us draw boundaries for our daughters without us even realizing it ourselves. We have all stumbled across sentences like "a girl shouldn’t walk in such a way, it's' boisterous '", or she should not talk to boys if she is decent. All these sentences become so deeply rooted in us that we start imposing them on our daughters. Now the question that arises is, are all restrictions and boundaries wrong? Well, the answer is no. Boundaries are necessary to protect our kids, but the ones that stop your daughter from excelling or living freely are surely not right and need to be thought about. This is necessary, as our children accept and imbibe the same expectations slowly but surely to the next generation and the cycle of oppression continues.

It’s the 21st century now! We have seen women excelling in all fields. From sports to science, politics to social work, we have all seen women outgrowing men. So it is high time that we all change and let our children choose for themselves.

As parents, we have to raise our children to be the best versions of themselves, without any gender bias. So, how do we do this?

Start early at home:

We have all heard that a child’s first school is their home. So the teaching of a gender-neutral environment starts at home.

• Show your child that there are no gender-specific roles, that everybody does everything. Try to divide and share household chores equally. Allow your kids to watch Mom assemble the new kitchen table as Dad folds clothes in the living room.

• Do not force certain toys or hobbies on your daughters. Let them choose according to their own set of interests and support them.

• Rather than telling your child what they should be doing based on what society tells them, give them options so they may determine for themselves what they should be doing based on their own inner ideas and emotions.

• Start sharing inspiring stories of strong men and women. This would teach them that both genders are capable of achieving anything if they are determined and dedicated enough.

• Let your daughters and sons wear clothes that they are comfortable in. If your son is enthusiastic about getting his nails painted or wearing jewelry, don't hesitate to give in. There is no scientific proof that doing so would be harmful to him. On the contrary, it would encourage him to be himself and follow his natural instincts. Guess what? If your daughter really wants to wear that sweatshirt with those sweatpants and bright red sneakers, she can. She'll be OK as well.

• Also, try to set the same rules and boundaries for both your son and daughters. This not only lets your daughter be equal but also teaches your son that no gender is superior and no such gender is stereotyped with a role.

Role as a society:

We have been conditioned to believe that the male is the breadwinner and the female is the homemaker. Here are some times that we can follow as a society to create a gender neutral environment.

• Appreciate girls who play sports rather than disregarding or questioning them.

• Don’t judge girls or pass comments on women who wear clothes that don’t fit your definition of right. This creates the wrong influence.

• Start gifting gender-neutral toys and gifts. This helps in creating a gender-neutral environment.

We, like our children, are products of our parents and the culture we live in. We may gradually but surely transform the view of men and women in society and the roles they play by doing our part and playing our part in raising sons and daughters as equals.